Sometimes I feel very sad for different reasons and often weep for days, weeks, even months. Along with the sadness, I feel guilty for being weak; I thought that faith was something emotionless, and if I really trusted God, I should always be strong. I was advised by friends with good intentions, to trust God, when I was seen crying. It seemed as if my tears were evidence of my lack of faith. Instead of helping though, the advice increased my sorrow.
This week I’ve read the story of Joseph from a different point of view. Joseph is one of the strongest and most Christ-like men in the Bible. He is usually portrayed as an example of trusting God in the midst of rough circumstances, but he was not free from anguish. At the age of 17, Joseph had prophetic dreams, that didn’t fully prepare him for what he experienced some time after.
Think about these things:
1. He was thrown into a cistern and then sold as a slave by his own brothers, HE CRIED for mercy and years later, he was able to accept the fact and say that God orchestrated his journey to Egypt and through God he saved many people; nevertheless it was something he understood overtime.
2. Joseph certainly suffered being separated from his father, sold as a slave, falsely accused, put in jail, and then forsaken by the man who could help him. He spent 20 years missing his family and his home. The names of Joseph’s children are evidence that he EXPERIENCED SORROW. But they also show that he trusted God to mend the wounds of his heart.
Genesis 41:50-52
Before the years of famine came, two sons were born to Joseph by Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On. Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, “It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household.” The second son he named Ephraim and said, “It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering.”
3. His reaction when he saw his brothers again is another evidence of Joseph’s strong emotions. He was not “hyper-spiritual”. I imagine him feeling a mixture of pain and compassion, love and doubt. Maybe he wondered if they ever repented for what they did to him. But then he heard from their mouths that, 20 years later, they actually had regrets for what they had done. That confession touched his heart.
Genesis 42:21
They said to one another, “Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that’s why this distress has come on us.”
Genesis 42:24
He turned away from them and began to weep, but then came back and spoke to them again. He had Simeon taken from them and bound before their eyes
Genesis 43:30
Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He went into his private room and wept there.
Although Joseph didn’t express to his brothers what he felt at that moment, he didn’t deny his feelings. The Bible doesn’t say “he prayed” but if we try to picture it we’ll probably see him asking God for wisdom and strength at that time; and he got all that he needed to overcome his intense pain which helped to prove the depth of his forgiveness.
In conclusion, Joseph had the right to be angry and sad. He had the opportunity to punish his brothers, but he chose to love and to save them from starving. That encourages and challenges me. I’ve realized that I can´t control my circumstances but God does. I don’t know why things happen. I can barely handle my own emotions and feelings, but thank God I have the Holy Spirit leading me. Sometimes I learn lessons from my past, usually after a lot of tears, prayers and questions. But it’s good that I can always trust that God is working even when I don’t understand or see or when I find it hard not to cry.
In
Hebrews 5:7-10 we read that Jesus had to pray and cry out loud, as Joseph did. That’s comforting! We can express our trust and faith in God pouring our hearts into His hands. True faith starts when we confess our distress and trust that God will show his power in our favor.
